


understanding

by LowInHighSchool



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Depression, M/M, oli can't cook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 10:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16196099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LowInHighSchool/pseuds/LowInHighSchool
Summary: Granit's depressed and Olivier just doesn't understand.





	understanding

**Author's Note:**

> wow i made oli out to be such an ass! I'm sure he's lovely tho :') I just wanted to write something like this because when you are going thru mental illness not everyone around you will understand, sometimes due to ignorance or whatever. but yeah! enjoy!
> 
> i was gonna do this in two parts but honestly, effort.

Olivier was getting annoyed. Granit just wouldn’t stop moping about the house all day. It was currently that awkward time in the summer when they had a few weeks off, with absolutely nothing to do. 

As they’d only started dating a month ago they both had seperate holidays booked. Olivier had gone on his but Granit had cancelled and stayed home, doing what? Olivier was not exactly sure.

He figures it’s something to do with his ex. Granit had only broken up with him 2 months before he and Olivier started dating but Granit had been going on the holiday with friends, not his ex.

Olivier just can’t figure it out. He knows something better change soon, training started up again in two weeks.

“There you are” He says, with a hint of agitation in his voice, as Granit finally comes downstairs.

Olivier had been sleeping over at his house since he’d came back from France, intent on having a good time with his new boyfriend, except Granit had rarely gotten up before 2pm and even then he’d just sat around all day with the tv playing.

But then again, maybe this was just how Granit was over the summer. He hadn’t exactly seen him loads the previous summer. 

But then he doesn’t go to training.

They’d both slept in their seperate houses the night before the first training session just to make sure they got enough sleep. Olivier had offered to pick Granit up but he’d refused, saying he’d make his own way there.

Even so, Olivier was optimistic that Granit would get back into the swing of things. He doesn’t though, he misses training the whole week.

No one says anything though and Olivier wonders if he’s going mad. Was he missing something obvious here?

Eventually Olivier’s had enough. He hasn’t even heard from his boyfriend for 2 days. He goes round and buzzes to be let in the gate.

Granit finally comes to answer, dressed in his pyjamas still, despite it being 4pm, and wrapped in a blanket. 

“Hi” He says.

“Can i come in?”

“Why?”

“Why? I’m your boyfriend, don’t you think i want to see you once in a while?”

Granit sighs and opens the gate. 

“Thank you” Olivier says and follows him inside.

Granit doesn’t even offer to make them tea and instead lies down on the couch. It’s only then it clicks for Olivier.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were ill?” He asks.

Granit looks confused “I’m not ill”

“Oh, so you’re just being lazy then?”

“What? No!”

“Why haven’t you been coming to training?”

“I told you”

“When?”

“Last month. At that party”

“Last month?” Olivier wracks his brain “Come on, stop playing games! You’re not above the team, you have to play. Do you just magically expect to be picked for matches if you don’t go to training?”

“No, I don’t. Please don’t yell. I have depression remember? I’m sad”

“That’s not an excuse Granit. Everyone gets sad but you actually have to do things, lying around all day isn’t helping”

“I know, I just don’t have the energy”

“Bullshit, you’re in top physical condition. You’re just making excuses now”

Granit sighs. There was no point in arguing with him.

“Look, I don’t expect you to understand but if you’re going to shout you might as well go” Granit says and shuts his eyes.

“Yeah I think that would be best” Olivier gets up and heads out of the door. 

Granit just lies on the couch. He was too exhausted to cry. He thought Olivier would at least understand. He’d seemed so nice about it when he’d told him.

 

Granit had wanted to tell Olivier about his depression before they started dating, just in case. He does it one night over drinks at a local bar. Olivier listened as Granit poured his heart out and nodded sympathetically, telling him it was ok and he’d always be there for him, no matter how bad it got. 

 

Now Granit thinks maybe Olivier didn’t realise exactly how bad it could get. He’d been so nice last season when Granit had had a bad week, that was even before he knew about the depression. In fairness that wasn’t as bad as it was now, that was just a blip. This was a tornado. 

Granit doesn’t know what to do. He wished it was that simple, that he could just ‘stop being lazy’ but he doesn’t even have the energy to make dinner. 

Come to think of it he hasn’t eaten since lunchtime yesterday.

He groans as he reaches to text Shkodran, unlike some people, he actually understood.

Within 20 minutes Shkodran’s in Granit’s kitchen making him rice and veg. Granit never felt like eating much when he was like this. 

“I think Oli’s gonna leave me” Granit sighs, as he musters up the energy to walk to the kitchen and sit down at the table.

“Why?”

Granit tells Shkodran everything that had happened, how Olivier thought he was lazy and how he’d been so cold.

“I just thought he’d be different” Granit sighs.

“I know. I thought he would be too”

“Should I call him?”

“Maybe give him sometime to come round, he might realise he was an arse”

“I doubt it”

“You never know. Hey, that’s just given me an idea”

“What?”

“You’ll see, just let me text the boss”

“Ok” Granit’s too tired to argue, it would just be another one of his friend’s weird plans which in the past had included dressing Mesut’s dog in halloween costumes and moving everything in Aaron’s house exactly 5cm to the left. He puts his head on the table.

“Rice is done” Shkodran says sometime later.

“Thanks”

Granit sits up and forces himself to eat half of it.

“Come on, a bit more” Shkodran says.

Granit makes himself a bit, and then a bit more until most of it is gone.

“That’s it” Shkodran says “Maybe we should go for a walk”

“Do we have to?”

“Just to the park, come on”

“Fine, let me get dressed”

“Good”

Once Granit’s dressed they walk to the nearby park. They try and make friends with the ducks and then sit on a bench and talk. Or Shkodran talks and Granit just nods. 

Once they’re back at Granit’s house Granit is feeling a little better, still completely exhausted but not as hopeless.

They play fifa for a little while until Granit can’t keep his eyes open.

“Want me to stay over?” Shkodran asks.

“It’s alright, you don’t live far”

“Sure, well I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything”

“Thanks”

Granit goes up to bed and actually sets an alarm for the next day, just in case he felt well enough to go to training.

 

Granit’s forgotten about Shkodran’s idea until a week later when the boss sends out a group text announcing a sports psychologist was coming in to talk to them about mental health awareness. Granit immediately knows it’s something to do with his friend.

“I just thought if Oli heard it from a professional he’d listen” Shkodran shrugs “And mental health awareness never hurt anyone”

“Good point” Granit says “I just hope he goes”

“Me too”

Currently, Granit and Olivier were talking again but there was still a coldness between them. Granit had been managing to get to training though. He wasn’t feeling completely better but definitely not as bad as he had done.

Olivier does go as it turns out. He’s there when Granit arrives.

“Hey” Olivier says “Can I sit with you?”

“Sure”

They go and take their seats in the front row.

“It feels like we’re back in school” Olivier says, a little more friendly than the past week. 

“I was terrible in school” Granit laughs.

“So you said, don’t worry, if we have a test I’ll let you copy”

The psychologist is good, he really knows his stuff. And Granit finds he can relate to almost all of the stuff he says about depression. He can’t help but feel his boyfriend glancing at him occasionally. 

Once they get back to Granit’s house it feels a bit awkward again.

“I think I need to apologise” Olivier says, not able to meet his boyfriend’s gaze.

“Yes, I think you do”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t understand, I do now. Well, not completely. But I know it’s not your fault”

“It isn’t. I try my best, it just gets hard sometimes”

“I understand, and I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain, I just thought…”

“That I was being lazy?”

“Kind of. I am sorry, I promise if it happens again I’ll be a better boyfriend”

“Thank you”

“Want me to make dinner?”

“Sure”

Olivier kisses Granit’s forehead and goes off to see what Granit has in, leaving Granit watching tv. 

“I admire you” Olivier says when he comes back in with two bowls of...wait, what was that?! Granit’s not sure it’s edible.

“Why?”

“Depression sounds awful, but you keep going”

“Yeah, I do try you know”

“I know you do. I don’t expect you to forgive me”

“I do, I know you didn’t understand properly”

“But I do now, and I’ll always support you”

Granit smiles “Thanks”

“Enjoy your dinner”

“What is it exactly?”

“Oli surprise”

“What’s in it?”

“Ah, if I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise”

Granit laughs and tentatively starts eating, the former awkwardness now completely gone.


End file.
